Report: reveal lies
Hard to believe, but true: According to our studies, each of us lies about fifty times a day, and men do not even tell the truth up to 70 times! It is not that difficult to get to the bottom of the hoax!
Photo: Thinkstock
- This is how you recognize L gen
- Expose delinquents with tricks
- Body language exposes the liar
A date like from a picture book
You sit comfortably with the Italian, he looks good, compliments you, listens attentively and everything he tells makes him shine in the best light - the passion for the cinema, his great job as a department manager ...
Sounds too good to be true? It's also likely that the psychologist Wade Rowatt has found that 90 percent lie on the first date, on average, twice in the first ten minutes lied.
That's how you recognize lies
Half of the lies are for the sake of the other. Flattery and compliments are the specialty of us women, while men lie rather for selfish reasons.
The reason that both sexes - although 74 percent say honesty is the most important value for them! - do it again and again: it almost never flies up because the average person is very bad at detecting lies.
The silent traitors
Only about 35 percent of our communication is via the language - the rest is expressed through posture, gestures and facial expressions. Much of this non-verbal communication is very hard to control at will: Especially lies are accompanied by unmistakable body signs - and you can read with a little practice very reliable.
In order to discover his flunkies right at the beginning of the game, you can now use these three simple and inconspicuous tricks.
Basic CheckScan inconspicuously. Does he wriggle a lot or does he sit relaxed? Ask three unsophisticated questions: what music he likes, where he likes to travel, his favorite color. Then comes the catch question: "As a department manager, you have a lot to do - what are you doing all day?"
When his behavior changes - the fidgety gets stiff or the casual fidgety, he suddenly pulls his feet under the chair or turns away a bit - then you put him under stress: he probably did not quite tell the truth about his job,
Reflex questions Ask questions so that the honest does not recognize them, but the liar feels caught. Example: "I have a question for you as a man. A friend of mine is dating, but always meets with other women. How should I deal with him? "
An honest man gives you a real tip. A dishonest feels caught and will show a change in behavior: he makes a jittery joke, gets nervous or soggy. And certainly not very faithful.
The Expectant Effect In passing, tell us that you have an unerring sense of lies. People believe what they hear. If he thinks he can not fool you, the signs of stress in lying will increase significantly: loosen the collar, blink more, "build walls" (push objects between him and him, such as his napkin).
Meaningful gestures
The actions just described call experts "Tells": treacherous gestures. These are the easier to read, the stronger the guilt feeling. If you suspect your friend of having put your lighter in, she will hardly betray herself by telling her, but if you suspect that she's getting close to your friend, you can stir up guilt before the question.
Expose liars with tricks
Make her realize what she loses when she lies to you, emphasize her close relationship with her: "You know: honesty means everything to me!" - "We've known each other for so long and friendship with you is more important to me than any others. "Only then do you ask the crucial question. Of course not, "Are you going to get my boyfriend?", But: "How do you like my friend, let's be honest?"
Feelings of guilt look like sadness. If your friend feels sad without a reason, she feels guilty. And when she lies to you, the tells will quickly condense into a so-called cluster - several signs appear: she wipes her hands on her thighs (so there should not be a table between them, if you ask), rubbing her eyes or pull your head.
Shaky lies Buildings Many lies are spoken quickly and quickly forgotten. Behind the really serious, however, is usually a fictitious story. How to get to the bottom of fiction:
Check Details A liar knits a story but forgets about insignificant trifles. Example: Your friend was supposed to be with David, but you suspected him of meeting Marie. If you ask, "Was Marie there too?", He will lie. Ask: "What did David have, what did you drink, in which bar was that? What happened after David came? "
If your friend needs to improvise details, he'll betray himself quickly, think too long, or show tells. However, the more details he tells ("David had ordered this expensive red wine, Château something, and tipped it right on his pants.) Thank God he had his black on, otherwise the evening would have gone well.") The more secure You are that he is telling the truth.
Breaking the Chronology If your friend was dating Marie instead of David, he will provide you with a well-designed story that shows one dot at a time. If you ask for details, he will try to stay in order.
If you raise your nervousness with non-intimidating details, which may not sound like an interrogation, then the first tells will soon become apparent.
But if he was really with David, he jumps during the story in the time: "Oh, yes, and at the very end Andi came in then. That was funny, because when we were smoking around nine, we still talked about him. David had frozen so much because he had previously tipped the drink over his pants ... "
Recognizing emotions If you're lying, you have a story at your fingertips, but not the feelings that this story has triggered in you. "Sorry, the train was late" can be a lie.
If you tell the truth, remember not only the facts, but also his feelings: "The train was late, that annoyed me so much, because they have just raised the prices recently, now you can do even longer standing around. "This story is certainly true.
Significant gaps Phrases like "I do not even remember anymore" or "Funny, I totally forgot" testify to the truth rather than a lie. A constructed story, namely, will never have any memory gaps, since it is completely invented.
Checking the voice Almost 70 percent of the liars speak with a significantly higher voice, especially women and children.
Fatal slip of the tongue
Sure, it's best if the liar simply "babbles". But even if you do not catch him in the blink of an eye, very few people are rhetorically so clever that, in the stress of lying, they can completely avoid treacherous speech phrases. Here are the most important ones:
Phrases that artificially emphasize credibility: "Certainly not!"
Evasive answers, repetition of the complete question, "Awakening" and "Awakening", "Well", sighing, laughing - anything that is conspicuously more common than usual.
Detailed negations and distancing words: "I have nothing with this woman" instead of "with Marie".
Answers to convey guilt feelings: "That's typical of you again - always this jealousy! You do not know how much that hurt me. "
Exhilarating facial expressions
The seven emotional emotions of fear, sadness, disgust, joy, contempt, surprise and anger are all manifested in the same mimetic expressions. The reason: They are innate to us - and are usually used completely unconsciously.
That's what makes them useful for detecting lies. The main traitors are so-called "micro-expressions", unfiltered facial expressions that only flash for a moment on the face, before they are replaced by controlled facial expressions.
Just look your (wrong) girlfriend in the face when you ask her what you look like in the dress that definitely does not suit you. The expression "horror" will be briefly visible on her face, before being replaced by a smile and the ejected "super!".
Body language exposes the liar
Six of the feelings described above are symmetrical in all humans, only with contempt does a single-sided lip appear. Mimicry such as smile, frown or brow lifting is also used symmetrically in honest situations. Asymmetries indicate a lie, as well as unfinished facial expressions.
Watch out for telltale eye movements when it comes to remembering a memory. If you ask your friend, "What did I have when we saw each other for the first time, " he will look (from his point of view) to the top left. But if he has to construct the picture (say, "What did David have when you saw him yesterday?", Even though he was secretly out with Marie), he looks more right up.
The basic method
This technique by US expert Paula Mayer summarizes step by step how to unmask lies:
Determine the Basis First ask unsophisticated questions and study the other person's laughter, gestures, posture, facial expressions and reactions. Only noticeable changes in normal behavior are significant.
Getting information If you think your date is hiding something, ask questions that can not be answered with a yes or no. Instead of "Are you still in love with your ex?", Rather "What happened during the separation?" That forces him to tell more.
Look for clusters Look for tells. If they occur heaped, your counterpart will lie to you.
Use Intuition Trust in your stomach when you feel inconsistencies about normal behavior!
Courageous followers If you push the liar into the corner, he will continue to deny. Tell the unfaithful friend: "I understand every man who goes out with another, when his girlfriend is unloving!"
So you're more likely to confess than "let's finally get it!". "All liars want to confess, because lying is extreme stress, " says Paula Mayer. "We just have to give them the chance!"
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