Report: Self-realization
Do you know the happiness to experience every new day with joy? Or do you have the feeling that you have ended up in a dead end?
Photo: Private
- "I do not want to end like this"
- The unwanted pregnancy as a reason for separation
- "I was a couch potato"
- As a Zumba trainer in the self-employment
- Career make-up artist
- "I did not love him anymore"
- Bullying at work
- A fulfilled life through the new beginning
- Without money, job and perspective
- The great love waited in Indonesia
"At the age of 30, I started studying, which I always dreamed about"
Kerstin, 32, Hannover, student
Already as a teenager, I dreamed to study costume design - a subject that is unfortunately offered at only a few universities in Germany. But when I got my daughter Chiara at the age of 18, I first found it important to be a graduate and a trainee tailor. As a single mother with such a small child was not to think about moving to another state.
After that I worked as a tailor and a dressmaker at the Cologne Opera. Sure, that's a great job, but only halfway to my real goal. I did not just want to sew the costumes. I wanted to design it! The initial spark was when I turned 30 and heard a conversation from older mothers whose children were already out of the house: Frustrated, they said in unison that they had renounced their dreams for the family.
"I do not want to end like that"
At that moment I thought to myself: I do not want to end like that! When, if not now? Of course I doubted whether I can expect Chiara to leave everything: Wuppertal, her friends, the school, my sure salary. Instead, we would expect a new state, a mini-apartment and BAföG. But Chiara supported me. The third university, Hannover, finally took me. Now I am in the second semester and very proud of myself - as well as Chiara.
"He did not want to have a child"
Jenny, 24, Berlin, business student
André and I had been together for five years, but we did not want to have children until the age of 30. When I accidentally got pregnant in January 2011, André just said, "That's what you're doing, is not it?" I said, "Let's just think about it ! We could do it with a baby too! "
He did not want to become a father in any case. I was insecure and went to the counseling session you need to run before abortions. My thoughts were racing, every minute I thought something else. But most of the time, I did not find a single reason against this baby except my relationship with André.
The unwanted pregnancy as a reason for separation
But what is worth a relationship that can only hold without a child? A few days later I was sure that I wanted the baby, if need be even without him. As expected, our love broke during pregnancy. On the 5th of October 2011 Leya was born.
I could have pulled out trees with happiness! André moved in with us, for Leya I found a Kitaplatz, for me a job as a working student and now I finish my Master. Through my daughter I have become responsible - and stronger than ever!
"After the termination, I started only by"
Alex, 40, Munich, Health Coach & Zumba Trainer
For ten years I worked in the television industry, from the outside a dream job. But I felt under-challenged. After the office we went home, there was a huge plate of pasta and TV. I was tired, driveless and frustrated single.
In 2010 while vacationing in Miami, I happened to meet a woman who radiantly shared her health coaching education. I thought then: You might like that too! Influenced by their enthusiasm, I enrolled in the "Institute for Integrative Nutrition" for a distance training as a health coach.
"I was a couch potato"
Right in the chapter Movement I learned how important sport is and what I was for a couch potato. I tried aerobics and Zumba - and had the aha experience at Zumba! Never before had effort made me so happy. Without starving I lost five kilos, I felt beautiful and energetic!
In April 2011, I got a Zumba training place in Fürth. Immediately after the training, I held my first lesson - in front of my girlfriends. With each course my enthusiasm grew. And at the same time the question became more and more urgent: Why do I still go to the barren job?
As a Zumba trainer in the self-employment
Why am I not self-employed as a Health Coach and Zumba Trainer? The answer was taken from my employer: In 2010 they terminated my employment. After the first shock, I was full of confidence, because if you like doing something, you're doing it really well. My entire environment reacted surprised to horrified: "And you have three degrees?" "Can you live on it at all?"
That got me pretty confused and I came to brooding. That's why, for safety's sake, I attended a foundation seminar of the IHK - I can only advise anyone who wants to become self-employed! There one learns with simple psychological methods to trust one's idea and to believe in oneself. The doubt was gone anyway. And anyway unfounded: My Zumba lessons and my coaching are going great - and in private I have finally found my great love!
"My plan B gave me strength"
Cassie, 23, Fürstenfeldbruck, make-up artist
For five years I worked as a bank clerk at the counter. Although I like to work with people, the job annoyed me more and more. For fun, I always played model for test shoots by photographers. At an appointment in December 2010, I was made up by a professional make-up artist.
When I saw myself in the mirror, I was thrilled! I wanted to be able to do that: make people shine, show them their beauty. At least by the way, that would be a nice job, I thought. I found a weekend make-up school for working people 100 kilometers away.
Career make-up artist
I financed the 4, 000 euros in tuition with tutoring lessons that I gave to the bank. At the end of 2011 I was ready and quit. My knees shook, but I said to myself, "If it does not work, I'll go back to the bank!" That gave me strength.
Today I work part-time in a perfumery, make up brides, teach at a make-up school, write a beauty blog and work 20 hours a week more than before with the same salary. But I am completely happy!
"I left everything and parted"
Sonja, 33, Pless, self-employed
At the altar five years ago, everything seemed rosy: Paul * (name changed by the editors) and I were hotly in love, wanted a house and three children. We got the house. And with him a mother-in-law next door. She chatted in everything, constantly telling my husband to control me better. Maybe Paul would have grown up as a father, but I soon learned after the wedding that unfortunately I can not have children.
As if that was not punishment enough, I had to hand in my money at home, submit all of my expenses, could not even buy nail polish. No matter what I did, it was always insufficient. In the middle of 2012, I was ironing, he complained again about something. But something was different: I realized that he could not hurt me anymore.
"I did not love him anymore"
I did not love him anymore, I did not even hate him. He just did not care to me and for the first time I thought about what it would be like to be alone. It felt nice! Without a word to him I reached for the car key and drove to my parents, only with the clothes I was wearing. Then I wrote him an SMS: "I'll never come back."
At first I felt like a chick fallen out of the nest, after all the control. But the feeling of freedom quickly dispelled my insecurity. First I bought ten nail polishes and on the day of the divorce on the 15th of January this year I had the champagne corks pop!
"I discovered my vocation on the web"
Anja-Maria, 39, Lebach, self-employed
Until 2009 I worked as a prison officer, non-terminable and with a great pension in view. I was with a colleague from whom I separated after five and a half years. But I underestimated his hurt pride.
Andreas * (name changed by the editors) foamed! He told me in revenge that I had smuggled drugs into the compound for years - a lie, but his smear campaign became a horror trip! My phones were monitored, the police came to the house search and the "Bild" newspaper printed articles about me.
Bullying at work
I sued my ex, got the law right, and he was sentenced to 10 months probation for defamation. I was rehabilitated. But what good did it do me? Nothing! I was no longer allowed to do my beloved service in the prison and was deported to a barren office job.
They looked at me crookedly, mobbed, whispered: Although I was innocent, the dirt that had been thrown at me was hanging on to me. With abdominal pain I dragged myself to work every day - I was close to collapse. In the middle of 2009, after one of the countless sleepless nights, I knew in the morning that I would soon fall into an abyss.
A fulfilled life through the new beginning
It just did not work anymore! I looked on the Internet for "freelancers" - and found good ideas on pages! I liked the idea: no colleagues, no bullying. First, I did a correspondence course as a nutritionist. The learning, the new knowledge, the good exam grades, all that restructured my life and stopped my thought carousel.
I was proud of myself and saw the public service as no longer a must. An apprenticeship is like a door that opens. The day I quit was great! One and a half years later I also trained as a cosmetic consultant. Today I work at fairs, presentations or events. Only what I can do, not what others think about me. I am different from the past, positive and strong, as if transformed. And finally happy!
"I finally arrived in real life!"
Gesa, 31, Berlin, hairdresser
I met my ex Jeremiah when I was 22 years old, I was young and good-faith, he was successful as a restaurateur - the type of man who charms everyone, even though he is a hard-hitting calculating person. After two years in love, his true character came out.
But how should I leave him? I worked in his bar, we lived together, the money was on a common account. 2007 escalated the situation, there were more and more arguments, also fisticuffs. Until I could not stand it anymore and fled.
Without money, job and perspective
Without money, job or perspective. Thanks to a good friend, I pulled the cut through, he encouraged me and helped me. When Jeremiah was traveling, he drove me to him to get my things. I was looking for a flat in another neighborhood, a job as a hairdresser and started to go to master's school. With these steps, I finally arrived in my life! Today I have the master and enjoy my life as a single.
"On my trip around the world I found the great love"
Franziska, 39, Clarence Town (Australia)
My job in the marketing of a large industrial company was top: I earned a lot, had a nice apartment in Munich and led a carefree single life. Until 2010: suddenly I could not stand this business world any more. The demeanor of the alpha males, the pomposity, who has the bigger car and the fatter account - that seemed to me more and more senseless.
I realized: I need a break to find out what really makes me happy. I calculated my savings together: It was enough for one and a half years backpack! Excited, I began to plan, inaugurated more and more friends and my family - all admired me for my courage! In the spring of 2011 I quit my job, my apartment, stored the furniture and in June I flew off towards Indonesia.
The great love waited in Indonesia
Immediately in August, I got to know Sulawesi Stephen, an Australian, he had a company there at that time, but he just broke up. Because of him, I stayed much longer than planned - and from November, when he had done his business, we traveled together: India, Myanmar, Australia ... In Sulawesi he made me a marriage proposal.
In 2012 we came to Germany for two months to meet my parents, and in October 2012 we got married here. Last December we emigrated to Australia, where we plan a new business as soon as I'm allowed to work in 2014.
You can find more about friendship here on JOY Online >>
