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An anonymous author reports on her experiences with domestic violence
When love becomes fear ... A woman honestly reports how she has experienced violence from her partner and why she did not leave him immediately.
Every fifth woman in Europe experiences violence through her partner. Nine out of ten of these women are silent. Also, this woman, who has written this incredibly gripping and honest report on kleinerdrei.org, has long been silent. Out of shame. "That I let this happen to me, that it happened to me at all, that I was looking for the wrong partner, someone who beat me, that it took me years to separate myself."
From the first sentence, you are tied when the author tells you how her partner hits her head while she is nine months pregnant. Her eardrum bursts, she goes to the ear doctor and the doctor immediately notices what's going on: "They always beat everyone on the left ear. If it's the left ear, it's always been the man, "he says. But she denies everything.
"Before it happened, I was sure that I would not tolerate a violent partner because I would have betrayed everything I have that would make me turn my back on the slightest sign of domestic violence."
One day she is in a parking lot with her partner and asks him to hurry up. He "pats out" and starts walking - while holding her seven-month-old daughter in her arms. He comes off, the police called by eyewitnesses comes. And again she denies everything in front of the official. "And then he tells me that the testimony of the people who called the police was saved for years - should something ever happen, or if you change your mind."
"I stayed for a long time, because like every man who beats his partner, he's not the beating partner every minute, because there were moments when I was hoping again and again that we could have a family life - without brutal dropouts ... It was just my yearning for a healthy family, for the ordinary family happiness that made me stay. "
The author experiences a moment of clarity when her daughter is ten months old. "When my daughter is ten months old, she looks wide-eyed at her father as he freaks out." For the first time she sees that her daughter is aware of what's happening.
But even the therapy, to which she persuades her partner, does not really help. Instead of beating it, he destroys objects. Mainly her stuff. Her bedside table, her smartphone, her favorite wine glasses, a window ...
Finally, she leaves her husband. She packs her things, takes her daughter and leaves.
The numbers are scary
The author concludes her report with sobering figures from the European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights: every third woman over the age of 15 in Europe has experienced physical and / or sexual violence. Every fifth woman in Europe has experienced this violence in the partnership. Since the author knows these numbers, "I sit in the train and count through." With every fifth woman I stop briefly .. In Germany, only 11 percent indicate their partner Nine out of ten men who beat her partner, do not have to fear any consequences. "
Even more frightening are the purely German figures of the Federal Ministry for Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth: 40% of women in Germany have experienced physical and / or sexual violence since they were 16 years old. 25%, ie one in four, of women living in Germany have experienced violence from current or former relationship partners.
The full report of the anonymous author is published on klerinerdrei.org.
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