Photo: Twentieth Century Fox
The quirks of men
Here are five precarious situations that can arise when living together - and how best to deal with them.
1. HE IS A TOMORROW
God, what could not be done with this beautiful morning, go to the flea market or brunch, there's a really cool new store, of course after the laundry is done, or we go to the market and cook again, with starter and dessert and all Pipapo, then you could also invite someone, Philip and Jana maybe, God, the last meeting is eternal, whether they are sour, in any case, we need a new tablecloth. Treasure? Sha-hatz? The solution: He never speaks voluntarily before eleven o'clock. Not with you and also with his boss only in emergencies. Do not take it personally. Coffee helps, preferably intravenously.
2. HE IS LET'S GO
He used to treat you like a woman. Now he treats you like his wife. They wanted him to drop, so now he does. Pedicure is for pussies, real guys can belch the first name of their loved one. He throws his clothes on the ground, although the cabinet is only 50 centimeters further, he puts what is left of the food back into the oven, in the refrigerator he stores preferably empty-eaten sausage lobes. The solution: Lost with you until there is a tie. He'll shave faster than you can say the word sloppy lingerie.
3. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. AND BETTER
He reads real books, the Times and the business section. That's why he also knows that it's Kina and not Schina, after all it's called Kor and not Schor. The HSV does not play in the Champions League just because the coach did not have the balls to ban player XY from stupid shots. The fact that there is still doping, unemployment and war in the world is entirely up to no one ever asking him. The Solution: See it as a workout to improve your multitasking. Not for long, and you can eat a sandwich at the same time, read the miscellaneous, listen to the radio and say "Yes, darling, that's really incredible".
4. AT HOME IT IS MOST BEAUTIFUL
When you moved in, you certainly did not think of a double cell in the high-security wing. But that's exactly what it feels like since they live together. He will not go out with you anymore. Every time you talk about a party, he pulls a punch. The two times when people came to visit you, he behaved horribly, playing suicidal music, plucking your best friend, and holding endless monologues on the difficult situation of the coffee farmers in the Ethiopian highlands. The solution: They invite you to a huge party. As soon as more than a dozen people are there, he does not notice at all.
5. HIS BOYS
He goes to the supermarket. He usually does not, but tonight the boys are coming to the Guitar Hero tournament, so surrendered, and it must be neat beer. He said at breakfast that he will take you to the Vietnamese. Anyway, you feel that he has real fun only with the buddies, just being tolerated for your basic female skills of cooking, feeding and breasts. The solution: What you can do for a long time. From now on there are weekly "Gray's Anatomy" evenings with the girls.
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