Photo: iStock
- Suddenly Diva: How menopause affects men
- Lack of testosterone makes problems
- Changes due to the male aging process
- Expert Council for Women in Partnerships
- 1 Do not underestimate testosterone deficiency
- Advice from Atanassov: Do not stress everything and let the causes of the symptoms clear.
- 2 Take erection problems seriously
- Expert tip from dr. Thiel: "If erectile problems persist for a period of three to six months, men should have their cause diagnosed medically."
- The male psyche
- Expert tip from dr. Heinz: "Women should send their husband to the urologist even if they realize that he behaves strangely or somehow unrecognizable and no one knows exactly why."
- 3 Encourage men to go to the doctor
- Expert advice from Dr. med. Philipps: Women should remind their husband to go to the Cancer Screening Examination at the age of 45. If the father had cancer, already at 40.
- 4 Speak openly about potency pills and testosterone therapy
- Expert tip from dr. B hmann: "If a man wants to have potency pills, he does not need to ask the woman right away: Do not you find me attractive anymore? Openness is better in terms of sexuality in the sense of: If this is so important to you, then get the pills. Finally, the man is looking for a solution for the couple
- 5 Prevent dab by medical consultation
- Expert tip from dr. Heinz: No supposed attempts to solve the partnership, but first entrust the doctor!
- 6 Changing Sexuality Together
- 7 Talk about less desire for sex
- Expert Tip B hmann: With less desire for sex one should talk with the partner and say: It may be different with us now than before. "
- 8 Address changes with ease!
- The ladies are in demand.
Suddenly Diva: How menopause affects men
Learn more about what can happen to you and your men from the age of 4o on menopause, and why we benefit in many ways from addressing our better half in good time to their health.
We do not like talking about aging. But it does not help. It happens. However, it works differently for men than for women. And both sexes know little about the male changes. For us women, there are many benefits to having age affect masculinity. Because even the man experiences hormonal changes. And they can take place on a mental and physical level, but they are often not appreciated enough or even misinterpreted.
Lack of testosterone makes problems
A comparison between the changes in men 45 plus with men's menopause does not make sense, although there are some parallels. Women are experiencing a very abrupt transition to a new phase of life free from "childbearing and rearing" as a result of menopause. A new life stage that can be understood as a transformation rather than a dismantling. Quite a profit that opens up new life perspectives.
The male aging process, on the other hand, tends to be gradual by 1 percent as a result of the steady decline in testosterone from about 35 years of age.
That sounds a little bit at first and is hardly noticeable at first. However, over a longer period of time, the decline or lack of masculinity hormones can be detrimental in terms of vitality and potency. So it's mainly degradation that causes problems.
Changes due to the male aging process
What many people do not know: Degradation of testosterone can lead not only to erectile dysfunction sooner or later, but also to symptoms such as sleep disorders, night sweats, mood swings, fatigue, bone pain due to a higher risk of osteoporosis and even depression.
Much of it can be treated. And some men's suffering can be better treated by early detection, as if the routine visit to the doctor was missed and only with great suffering the way to the doctor is found. One reason for us women to make sure that our better half aged 45 and over regularly goes to the urologist for cancer screening.
Expert Council for Women in Partnerships
At the 57th Urologist Congress 2016 of the Südwestdeutsche Gesellschaft für Urologie eV in Ludwigshafen, we interviewed the people who needed to know the best, how to skillfully make our doctor's visit tasty : Specialists in urology and even more men.
Here's what you can do to save yourself and your husband from going to the Urologist to diagnose problems with men's health and performing the cancer screening test.
Some things will surprise you .
1 ♦ Do not underestimate testosterone deficiency
Women should not underestimate how much men are hormonally affected. And not only when it comes to sex but also in terms of their well-being.
Georgi Atanassov, Senior Physician of the HELIOS Clinic in Blankenhain, explains to us that "Testosterone is important for the body, psyche and masculinity in general! And when testosterone is missing, men feel tired and burned out. Because we are all stressed out a lot, we can not always classify the symptoms as clearly. But stress is not always the only reason when we are not feeling well. A simple blood test provides certainty if there is a testosterone deficiency. If so, it can be tested by administering different testosterone supplements to see if this can help to improve the symptoms. "
The treatment of the symptoms is always an issue for the resident urologist or andrologist and a thorough preliminary examination very important to rule out possible other diseases. Because, "a testosterone deficiency can indeed be treated well and the patient can get everything under control again. However, in advance, a thorough examination must always be carried out in order to consider possible other illnesses ", explains the senior physician.
Expert tip from Atanassov: "Do not push everything to stress and clarify the causes of the symptoms."
Georgi Atanassov, senior physician of urology at the HELIOS clinic in Blankenhain
2 ♦ Take erection problems seriously
To warn the psyche prematurely when it comes to erectile dysfunction, warns too Dr. Ralf Thiel. The chief physician of the clinic for urology of the Asklepios Paulinen clinic Wiesbaden explains that "a strained psyche and stress can express themselves in erectile dysfunction. But there are also physical causes such as prostate cancer . And sometimes erectile dysfunction is also a warning sign of a general circulatory problem that may later affect the heart. To the heart attack . "
Expert tip from dr. Thiel: "For longer-lasting erection problems of three to six months, men should have the exact cause medically clarified."
Dr. med. Ralf Thiel, chief physician of the clinic for urology of the Asklepios clinic Wiesbaden
♦ The male psyche
The male psyche is often more affected by the declining testosterone levels than many men want to admit. And so sometimes the partners first notice that the man has changed without being able to pinpoint a specific reason.
But most men would not go to the doctor because of this, reports dr. George Heinz, established urologist from Stuttgart-East. The main reason why older men come to their practice is their dissatisfaction with the erection duration or hardness. "But Mood swings, sweats, circulatory weakness, fatigue, depression or irritability are also a problem.
Some men are really diva at this time . Then many do not feel well because the muscle mass breaks down and they increase for it. Especially the belly grows. Of course, these men find it very relieving to know that treatment can improve their well-being in many cases.
Expert tip from dr. Heinz: "Women should send their husband to the urologist even if they realize that he behaves strangely or somehow unrecognizable and no one knows exactly why."
Dr. med. George Heinz, specialist in urology and urological X-ray, drug tumor therapy & emergency medicine, own practice in Stuttgart East
3 ♦ Encourage men to go to the doctor
Unfortunately, men are reluctant to go to the doctor: only when there is a high level of suffering. But it is getting better. Because today's men have already become a little more health-conscious and are less averse to going to the urologist than they used to, Dr. Ines Philipps, Urologist at the Department of Urology and Pediatric Urology at Saarland University Hospital. So the men would come of their own accord to clarify their symptoms. Nevertheless, like many of her colleagues, she complains that " regularity is lacking ".
By the way: Anyone who believes that erectile dysfunction is only an issue from 60 plus onwards is better off here. The doctor explains: "It starts in the middle of the 40s. And some do not even know what can go with the hormonal changes. That's why we often openly ask: how else is it at the moment? How do you feel? And then you can approach the topic well. "
Expert advice from Dr. med. Philipps: "Women should remind her husband to go to the age of 45 years for cancer screening examination. If the father had cancer, already at 40. "
Dr. med. Ines Philipps, Saarland University Hospital, Department of Urology and Pediatric Urology
4 ♦ Speak openly about potency pills and testosterone therapy
Fortunately, there are today treatment options for erectile dysfunction. Whether this comes into question for the individual sees doctor Philipps as an individual topic. "Erectile dysfunction can be treated, but it does not have to be. Some men would like to be prescribed one of the erectile dysfunction drugs (Cialis®, Levitra®, Spedra® or Viagra®). And of course, if after physical examination no physical reasons speak against it. "
But prescribing is often not the end of the topic. The success of the pill in the partnership depends on how the individual deals with it.
Because it happens not infrequently, that a woman finds a pack of these pills in the jacket pocket of the man, who actually wanted to hide the whole thing, Dr. med. Wolfgang Bühmann from experience.
"That's why secretly is always unfavorable, " explains the resident urologist on Sylt his patients. "If the woman finds the pills, she almost always thinks: he goes astray. This is not always true. "It would be better to say:" I was at the doctor and now have the pills. To our mutual joy! The tablet does not have to be hidden. It can be included openly. "Testosterone treatment should also be discussed openly.
Because there are not only syringes or gels to apply to the skin, but also deodorant with the hormone. And of course the woman should not share this out of ignorance.
Expert tip from dr. Bühmann: "If a man wants to have" potency pills ", the woman does not need to ask immediately: Do not you find me attractive anymore? Openness is better in terms of partner sexuality in the sense of: If this is so important to you, then get the pills. Finally, the man is looking for a solution for the couple. "
Dr. med. Wolfgang Bühmann, Specialist in Urology - Andrology, Med. Tumor Therapy, Sylt
5 ♦ Prevent dandruff by visiting a doctor
Some men do not dare to face their wife's erectile dysfunction. In the hope that new charms of another woman would revive his virility, some men would rather risk an infidelity than to go to the doctor.
But Dr. Heinz knows that often goes backwards. He describes from his practice: " Some men are sexually frustrated and then seek the solution in an infidelity that they hoped would work out there with the erection. And then it often does not work. If they had gone to the urologist, they could probably have spared themselves. "That convinces!
Expert tip from dr. Heinz: No supposed attempts at solving the partnership, but first entrust the doctor!
6 ♦ Changing sexuality together
Changing our body is often accompanied by a changing need for sexuality. This is the case with men and women. If an erection does not last as long as before, however, other options can be developed to experience intimate togetherness. However, this is often not so easy for men, because sex has so far mainly been synonymous with sexual intercourse.
Here Bühmann appeals to his peers : " The man has to stop trying to be so penisfixiert. Growing old also means getting up and looking at how we can experience sexual satisfaction in the future. Without the pressure that this has to happen through penetration. "
In the counseling of couples it would therefore often be "education that the penis is not the key to the sexual arousal of the woman. She can show him other techniques that can make her sexually aroused, without its being about his erection. Erectility is finally over . "
7 ♦ Talk about less desire for sex
Contrary to the mainstream, according to which all people should still have the ultimate age of ultimate sex, Bühmann represents a more realistic view. After all, sexual intercourse is not a duty .
He is right! There are other things that you can do together than sex, which are also fun. Most of the time we do something else anyway. "If it's okay for both of them, couples can become just as happy if they have little or no sex, as if they sleep together three times a week, " explains Bühmann.
Only in many cases the exchange about the changed needs is missing. It was not necessary. Because "often the women are in the same life stage and do not feel so much anymore. That is often two-sided, only one does not know it from the other. Some remain silent for years until they realize that they actually want the same thing. "An open conversation with the urologist can give new impetus in this regard.
Expert Tip Bühmann: "With less desire for sex, one should talk to the partner and say: It may be different with us now than before."
8 ♦ Address changes sensitively!
Unanimous opinion among all experts: women should respond if the man changes! But how?
To round off our picture of how women should turn it on to men when they are worried, we also asked "non-doctors".
Maik Schwarz (left) University Medical Center Hamburg-Eppendorf (UKE) Management, Uwe Perkuhn EDAP TMS GmbH, Sales Manager North Germany
Thus, conference participant Maik Schwarz (pic. L.) Wishes a sensitive approach. Because men are more sensitive than they admit, he dedicates us . When the topic comes up to him one day, he wishes his wife to speak to him in a quiet moment. "The partner finally knows one's best and is aware of even small changes. And if a development is not good, you have to talk about it. In a moment when you are open to it. The worst thing is to say nothing and give subtle hints. "
Uwe Perkuhn (picture right) also agrees, "Women must be allowed to tell the men quietly if we change our vitality. That is caring for the partner and very important. The topic of "aging male" concerns us all! And if we ourselves do not perceive the change because it is so insidious, the feedback from the partner is very important. "
The ladies are in demand.
Let's take the matter seriously and see if the next cancer screening date for our partner is already available to the urologist. We have an order!
Author: This text is a contribution by family therapist Marthe Kniep.
Also interesting:
Soulsex: the salvation for our sex life?
Where does the vertical scar on the penis come from?
What makes a beautiful penis?
