Recommended, 2024

Editor'S Choice

How grandparents can prepare for their first grandchild

During a course, expectant grandparents can prepare for their new role for the first time. What the midwife advises when the first grandchild comes.

Photo: Papirazzi, fotolia
content
  1. Help during pregnancy
  2. Support after the birth
  3. When the grandchildren get bigger
  4. Talking to each other helps best
  5. May grandmas spoil their grandchildren?

Grandparents are simply irreplaceable. But how far are they allowed to interfere in parenting matters? This is the subject of controversy between generations. "In order to avoid possible conflicts, expecting grandparents should consciously prepare themselves for their new role, " says the experienced midwife Ilse Hörwick from the birthplace of Hamburg.

For more than a year, she has been offering courses on the subject of "Grandparents become - empathetically support and participate". A hitherto unique project in Germany. The participants of the four-hour seminar will learn how babies are properly wound, carried, fed and bathed today. "Most of all, I want the help of the future grandparents to be directed to where it's needed, " says Ilse Hörwick. Here are your most important tips:

Help during pregnancy

Especially in the last weeks of pregnancy, women can often use support. Shopping, cooking food - all this relieves the expectant mother.

"It is important that grandparents do not burden their children with their own worries, " says Ilse Hörwick. Horror stories from previous births or well-intentioned nutritional tips should be avoided. And: "If the calculated date of birth is already exceeded, do not call every day." The children are already tense from the long wait. Now grandparents help with patience.

Support after the birth

Finally the longed-for call: "Mom, the baby is here!" Most grandparents now want to pack their presents and drive to the hospital right away. Better wait, advises Ilse Hörwick. "After the birth, many parents do not want to receive a visit at first, but take great care of their son or daughter, so if you have a little patience and wait one to two days for the young family to get it, you can be sure that everyone is looking forward to the short visit (at most half an hour). "

The biggest support comes from grandparents who have a lot of understanding right from the beginning: "Young families have to find their rhythm first, it's a huge job, and parents are often sensitive if they have not arrived in their new role, " says Ilse Hörwick, Your tip to all grandmas and grandpas: spread calmness. "You know, not all flatulence is colic, and not every bouts of baby blues are postpartum depression, and what unsafe mothers need above all is praise and affirmation ."

If you want, you can do the laundry for the parents or clean the apartment. "A great help that relieves young mothers.

When the grandchildren get bigger

Now the grandparents are really in demand: As a babysitter, playmates, often even as a childminder replacement. According to a study by the German Center for Gerontology, almost one in five Germans between the ages of 40 and 85 regularly care for their grandchildren. After all, grandparents spend an average of 35 hours a month on it. Without the support of grandma and grandpa many mothers would not be able to work at all.

But even the grandchildren benefit from a close bond with their grandparents: they are allies, to whom one can entrust secrets. They spend more time than their parents and are often more patient. And they are an important bridge to the past, says Ilse Hörwick: " Through the tales of the past, children get to know their family roots. "

Talking to each other helps best

Even in the happiest families, the coexistence of generations does not always run smoothly. "If parents or grandparents do not like something, they should address the problem at an early stage - in a businesslike atmosphere and without reproach, " advises Ilse Hörwick. " Dismissing conflicts over the grandchildren on the other hand is completely taboo ." Those who heed this, have a wonderfully relaxed grandparent time.

May grandmas spoil their grandchildren?

Most grandmas love to do something good to their grandchildren. They bring a small toy with each visit and can not resist, if the little ones want to have a piece of chocolate. " Pampering is permissible to a certain extent, but if grandparents feel that parents are annoyed with too many presents, you should look for a compromise together, " advises psychologist Dr. Sabine Hoier from Kassel.

For example: Instead of presenting a small present at each visit, Grandma and Grandpa set up a savings account for their grandchildren. The most important thing in disputed topics from the point of view of the psychologist: "Staying ready to talk, tolerate other opinions and treat each other diplomatically." After all, everyone only wants the best for the child. And every generation has a different parenting style.

However, in some subjects, grandparents should adhere to the clear requirements of their parents, Dr. med. Sabine Hoier. For example, when it comes to children's bedtime or regular brushing.

Popular Categories

Top