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Who am I? "How to get to know yourself better

"Who am I, can it be that the others see me very differently than I do myself, is there so much misunderstanding?" Learn how to get to know yourself better.

Photo: Stefano Tinti / iStock

For a number of years we already hold it out with ourselves. Sometimes it works better, sometimes the relationship is complicated!

In any case, one would think that we know each other like the back of our hand, every outburst, every tear, every laugh, every thoughtless action long in advance. Never have to watch ourselves shaking our heads because we have repeated our old mistakes again and never doubt what we can do well and where we may still have expansion reserves. We would have to understand our fears long ago, so as not to fail or resign ourselves again and again.

And with such a long time of living with ourselves, we should know exactly which people are right for us, what role we like to play in a group and how we interact with others.

And above all, we should be good to ourselves, and consider ourselves benevolent, as we do with the people who are close to our hearts.

But are we doing it?

Probably not, right? In coexistence with ourselves is sometimes the maxim: "Close and yet so far!"

We take time for everything, but we are the one who is the worst offender in our time. Time that would be so important for us to get to know each other.

The degree of contentment in our lives would increase if we stopped looking for happiness or being embedded in the outside, which we can only find in ourselves, in unity with ourselves.

The self-guiding power

Everything comes from this power of being one with ourselves: self-confidence, security, good choices, serenity, contentment, courage, love and happiness! Then, when we stop letting ourselves go through our lives and instead actively begin to understand and shape it, we will come to a good responsibility towards ourselves. We become the self-guiding force in our lives.

The mystery of our being is hidden somewhere inside us. It feeds on childish memories, imprints, disappointments, images of our youth, with which we connect things, it has old experiences and injuries in it, a few coincidences and also some old patterns of our parents and the generations before. It draws on an incredibly rich fund of old feelings, new goals, old loves and new hopes.

From skinning the onion

If we manage to peel off these layers like the skins of an onion piece by piece and put them aside, we will penetrate to the core and in the future we will succeed, from the center, out of the core, our decisions to meet and shape our behavior accordingly.

And the closer we get to ourselves, the more courageous we become in interacting with other people. We stop pretending that we no longer have to rise above others. We become calm and relaxed and are no longer afraid to show our feelings, listen to our guts and let our waking mind speak.

Working with our little onion will make sure we get a little closer to the mystery of life - at least our secret, but maybe we're talking about the same things?

At heart, it's love!

What lies within us will trigger a warm, strong and rapidly spreading feeling. It will feel like we are flooded or flowed through.

If we remove all layers, a small core remains. This core is pure love, influenced by nothing and no one. Love for ourselves, love for life - with the knowledge of finiteness - and love for every other person, who is just as grandiose a work of art as we are.

So who are you?

These questions you should ask yourself - and be honest with you:

  • What do you love, what do you stand for?
  • What are the most important feelings of your life and which associations do you have?
  • What insights do you gain from this?
  • Who do other people see when they look at you?
  • What would an interim balance look like?
  • What are you proud of, what are you thankful for, why do you feel shame and what makes you angry and fainting.
  • What makes you happy, from what do you draw strength and energy, in which are you particularly good and what do other people appreciate about you?
  • And the always decisive question, with which answer do you react? Where can you penetrate deeper - to your own core?

We should not deprive ourselves of the chance to know each other and to understand our behavior. Only from this results a comforting peace with ourselves, because the readiness and joy to develop personally and professionally, becomes more and more recognizable as modern key qualification for a contented and reflected life.

So get ready for your project. You've probably already taken care of others' affairs, right?


If you would like professional guidance in the question: "Who am I? A comparison of foreign image and self-perception", I can recommend you one of my small group day seminars and you can feel free to contact me.
Take a look at it, maybe it's just the right thing for you: This seminar will take place the next time on 13.08.2016 in Neu-Isenburg (near Frankfurt / Main).
Together we ask the question "who am I" and will hear our own answers as well as the answers of the seminar participants.
As a systemic coach, I support you appreciatively and solution-oriented in tracking down and especially in harnessing the answers.

This text is a guest post by Susanne Henkel. Susanne is a systemic coach and entrepreneur. She works nationwide as a coach. Her practice is located in Neu-Isenburg, near Frankfurt am Main. Her offer is aimed both at private persons, who come to her with purely private topics, as well as at companies, which book her for executive and team coachings. Susanne Henkel always pays special attention to assisting her clients in exercising their own gut feeling so that decisions and solutions can always be made on a rational and emotional level. The reason for this sounds as plausible as obvious: according to Susanne Henkel, all solutions or decisions that are made in such a balance between the head and heart are easy to implement for people and fully motivated.

Further information about Susanne Henkel and coaching can be found on her homepage: There are more articles of her on her blog:

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