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Ally or rival?

Report: Best friend

More than three-quarters of JOY readers find their best friend at least as important as a relationship. And rightly so, because with the woman at our side, we are usually much longer together than with a man!

Best girl friend
Photo: Private
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  1. A friend helps in all situations
  2. "We have never quarreled!"
  3. Caught the friend with the best friend inflagranti
  4. It was love at first sight
  5. Because of envy broke the friendship
  6. No man comes between the girlfriends
Nevertheless, this "partnership" can fail - women told us how well they and her friend harmonize.

Who is the most important person in our lives? The great love? The mother? The father? Wrong, it's your best friend. At least 92 percent of women say in a survey by the Society for Consumer Research. 84 percent would even opt for their girlfriend and against the partner (and thus sex), if need be.

The best friend is our reference number one, a reliable constant, the perfect match and often even soulmate. She builds us up or gets our heads in order and she often knows us better than we do ourselves. Mostly women's friendships survive crises, about 40 percent last a lifetime.

A friend helps in all situations

No wonder, because our problems often seem smaller when you have a friend by your side: Experiments have proven that test subjects rated the slope of a hill they were to run lower if their girlfriend stood next to them. However, it can also happen that a friend becomes a rival. However, a friendship does not last that way, unless you follow a few rules.

"Anyone who feels competition, either with oneself or with one's girlfriend, has to deal with it openly. Envy, if you honestly discuss the uncomfortable subject, can also become admiration and incentive, "explains the psychologist and friend researcher. Wolfgang Krüger, author of the book "How to win friends for life" (Herder). JOY readers tell us what they have experienced with their best friend - for better or for worse. In one case, they even share a man!

"In sports we are opponents - but only there"

Cathi, 19, Essen, and Melanie, 19, Wuppertal, both high school graduates, friends for 8 years

We'll throw baskets together with our grandchildren, "laughs Cathi, a player at NBO Oberhausen. "We do not just share our passion for basketball. It's even as if Melanie and I were telepathically connected. We are always in the same position in photos - I left, Melanie right.

At the same time we say the same sentences, we got a black eye on basketball at the same time last year and we are getting more and more alike, even outwardly. As children under 11, we were opposites - today we are like twins! "Although the high school graduates play for a year in competing clubs, they can eliminate the opposition on the pitch after the final whistle.

"We have never quarreled!"

"We have never quarreled before, even though we are mercilessly honest with each other. Our motto: Each accepts the other as it is. Our friendship is more important to us than sports or men. "There was not even Zoff when Melanie had a boyfriend who was jealous of Cathi and told Melanie lies about her last year. "Did the guy think we would never talk?

His lies came out immediately. I have always warned Melanie before him, but after his intrigues she has me right and dumped him. "Jealousy of the partners who would have liked to have their girlfriend for themselves, they have experienced many times. But never among each other. "In men, we have a contrary taste. But the friend of the others would be taboo anyway! "

"She was lying in bed with my friend"

Katharina, 24, student, Berlin, and Sabina *, 24, student, Berlin, friends for 5 years

An adventurous up and down has shaped this. Katharina's best friend Sabina even played the love messenger in 2010: "If she had not talked Ulrich in the gym for me, I would not have come to him at all, " recalls Katharina. She was in love for eight months - then the shock came.

Caught the friend with the best friend inflagranti

When, after two months spent studying in another city, she surprisingly returned, she caught Sabina with her boyfriend in red handed. "To this day, I wonder how she could build this competition behind my back. I was shaken to the core, losing the partner and best friend in a single day - and their loss hurt much more! "

Katharina broke off the contact. "At some point I fell in love again and everything moved far away. A year and a half ago, Sabina called and begged my forgiveness. She was pregnant, but not by Uli. I thought it was brave that she had contacted. Today we are friends again, the competition is gone and I'm happy about it. "

"Despite distance, we are close"

Dani, 41, make-up artist, Berlin, and Vroni, 35, Brieskow-Finkenheerd, customs officer, girlfriends for 18 months

The two live in different cities - 100 "... kilometers apart. But that does not detract from their closeness. New single Dani and the tight-lipped Vroni speak several times a day, thanks to Phone, WhatsApp and Facebook. "My friend is very tolerant, he only rolls his eyes when I hang with Dani on the phone again, " says Vroni.

It was love at first sight

"He likes the fact that I have someone with whom I can share any problem, from the kids to Dani's separation from her life partner last year to trouble with dieting." When the two were doing an extra job for a movie a year and a half ago It was "love at first sight - only without eroticism, " says Vroni.

And although they look so different - the big city plant Dani and customs officer Vroni from the small town - they share many other things in addition to their hobby, the Komparserie: "We can laugh together for hours, each have a daughter and chat every little thing together." They also undertook joint girl holidays with Dani's daughter Joelina, 14, and Vronis Lisa, 11, to Dresden, Hamburg and Norway. "We can even imagine that we will live in a retirement apartment later!"

"Your envy destroyed everything"

Catrin, 29, beautician, and Carmen *, 29, retail merchant, Lüneburg, girlfriends for 10 years

Carmen and I were only in a double pack - and from fifth grade, "says Catrin. "But when we started working, she became a rival." Catrin earned a top beautician a car, a horse, and an apartment. "Carmen had a minibus and a junk car as a shop assistant - and was frustrated about that.

Because of envy broke the friendship

'You can afford that, not me', often came in a snappy tone. I worked twice as much as she did. Today I think that many women drag their girlfriend out of nostalgia through life. You have so many memories in common ... Even if the other is now a competitor, she always remains the best friend in her mind. "

Catrin noticed the change of Carmen only in her first own crisis: her employer went bankrupt. "Instead of helping me, Carmen lied to my friend that I was cheating on him. Luckily he understood their games. It was enough for me: I threw them out of my life and have since felt relieved. "

"No guy brings us apart"

Viviana, 22, photographer, food, and Nathalie, 22, law student, Herne, girlfriends for 8 years

We have often had the problem that men wanted to play against each other. My last friend thought Nathalie had a bad influence on us: we would do too much party together. But he was just jealous. "The friendship with Nathalie is more important to Viviana than any man:" She's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

No man comes between the girlfriends

She would never judge me and if she was jealous, she would say so. "The girlfriends went through everything together. First friend, lovesickness, stress with parents, excerpt, studying in different cities, holidays - there has never been a dispute. "You do not sacrifice something like that for a guy. They come and go, but the friendship remains. "

And she survives Crisis: Last year, they were talking to the same guy, a friend of both: "Because we live in different cities, we did not realize he was trying on both of us." When Viviana Nathalie showed her crush on Facebook, his game came out: "We have never contacted this idiot again!"

"We stop each other"

Sigrid, 29, beautician, and Anna, 29, retail clerk, Bergheim, girlfriends for 14 months

"We share everything - even my friend"

Monique, 26, business economist, Hanover, and Angie *, 23, student, Göttingen, friends for one year

You can find more about friendship here on JOY Online >>

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