Just a few days ago, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg shared not only the beautiful news of a pregnancy, but also the previous miscarriages of his wife Priscilla with the entire world. There were three in the last few years.
Photo: iStock
Zuckerberg does not conceal his own feelings in his public Facebook post, which came over him after the miscarriages.
"You are so hopeful when you expect a child, you begin to imagine who it will be and dream of its future, you start making plans and suddenly it is not there anymore, it is a very lonely experience. Most people do not talk about miscarriages because they worry about their problems distracting them from others or throwing a bad light on them - as if you were somehow deficient or doing something that would cause the miscarriage all alone."
Priscilla and I have some exciting news: we're expecting a baby girl! We've ...
Posted by Mark Zuckerberg on Friday, July 31, 2015
But when Mark and Priscilla shared their experiences with their friends, they became aware of the frequency with which miscarriages can occur and many couples are still parents of healthy children. Now the couple is pregnant again. They are expecting a daughter. The pregnancy is already so advanced this time that the risk of a miscarriage is very low. However, Mark and Priscilla wanted to publicly share their story to encourage and perhaps inspire other couples around the world to share their own painful experiences and not keep them to themselves.
Following the Facebook message from Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, the American Cosmopolitan published an article in which other men express their feelings about a miscarriage of their partner. So also Hermes Hernandez shared his story.
Hermes Hernandez: "It was like a punch in the stomach."
Even Hermes (29) and his wife Lauren (28) from North Carolina already experienced a miscarriage. Lauren was about the tenth week when the couple had to learn at an ultrasound date that their baby's heart had stopped beating. As his wife began to cry, Hermes felt as though someone had punched him in the gut. "It was terrible for me."
The couple was eagerly awaiting their child and had already shared the message with family and friends. It was a beautiful message after Lauren and Hermes already had to deal with a terrible message. Just three weeks before their marriage, Hermes was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma, a malignant tumor in the lymphatic system. As a medical assistant, Hermes already knew at that time that chemotherapy could lead to infertility. For this reason, he had his sperm freeze so that Lauren and he could have children at a later date. But then his wife unexpectedly became pregnant. As great as the joy of pregnancy naturally first was, so great was the grief over the unexpected loss.
Since the baby had already grown too far, Laurens cervix had to be widened before it could be removed. A painful procedure she still suffers from. Hermes tries to support his wife as best he can, while of course he also suffers from the loss. He says, "I try to be strong." The couple still does not know whether Hermes' chemo or other reasons played a role. The test results are still pending.
In the meantime, the couple decided to post their story on Facebook. Lauren guessed it would help her deal with the tragic loss. Many expressed their pity, sent gifts and flowers. But what moved the couple the most were the experiences of other couples : "We found out how often miscarriages happen, I'm a doctor and I had no idea that about one in four pregnancies ended in miscarriage."
For Lauren and Hermes it is clear that they want to continue trying to have children. You will still have some time left.
