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- State of emergency in the nursery
- Puberty: The teddy bear is now in the corner
- Balance between proximity and distance
- But how do parents best deal with this changing pool of emotions?
State of emergency in the nursery
Teenagers in puberty are unpredictable. Between super-happy and deeply saddened are often only minutes. This is the best way to handle the emotional chaos of your children ...
Radiant comes Jennifer (13) from school, hugs her mother and says: "Cool, Mom, I have a two in math! Astray, what?" - "Well, since learning has been worthwhile, " congratulates Alexandra (38 ) and covers the table for eating. "Before I forget, " she says, "I still have to go shopping. Can you please clean the bathroom? "
Peng! In one fell swoop, her daughter's good mood vanishes. "You can not even be happy here!" She yells "No! At the same time, it says again: 'Clean this and plaster it!' "Outraged, Jennifer storms into her room, turns on the music system. Her mother is confused in the kitchen.
Puberty: The teddy bear is now in the corner
Do you know that? If your children have just reached the age of teenagers, this behavior is certainly not foreign to you. Because: Puberty is a test of endurance. For parents and children.
After all, both parties experience this change of feelings. The older ones have to get used to the idea that their offspring no longer the teddy bear, but a star from the "Bravo" adores.
Even worse, puberty hits the children: they present themselves as mini-adults, want to be cool, forge plans for the future. And then they desperately lock themselves in their room because they have pimples or too few breasts, are too thin, too big or too fat.
The hormonal change of the body, which has massive effects on the brain, is to blame for this feeling chaos in puberty . This is, experts explain, during puberty in the maturing process. In other words, like the body, the brain also develops in spurts.
Balance between proximity and distance
Where the center of reason among teenagers is not yet fully developed. Therefore, it is difficult for young people to make rational decisions.
Problem: As this part of the brain slowly matures, the network responsible for the emotions - the limbic system - develops with full force.
Common for the teens: The limbic system causes anger, anger and bad mood. No wonder that the waves are beating high.
But how do parents best deal with this changing pool of emotions?
- Very important, remember: bad moods of your child are not automatically directed against you.
- Puberty is difficult because children who used to love to cuddle up suddenly do not want to be hugged anymore. At least that's what they say. For parents, that's a balancing act between closeness and distance. Tip: Let your child have their own experiences. But be prepared as a " good friend. " Experience shows that even the coolest teens need pats sometimes, but in general, do not push yourself.
- Avoid comparisons. If the neighbor's daughter goes to the ballet and her kid goes to the heavy metal concert, that does not mean that your child will be on the wrong track. Every teenager is developing differently.
- Teenagers need rules to help them learn to take responsibility. Example: Tell your daughter to clean the bathroom once a week. Set a day, then everyone can adjust to it.
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