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Patricia Kelly: Breast Cancer Defeated, Dream Prince Found

That's what Patricia Kelly looks like today.
Photo: Peter Becher

Interview with Patricia Kelly about love, music and cancer

Patricia Kelly has become famous with her family. In the mid-90s there were an incredible number of Kelly Family fans around the world. When the musician's family turned up, the fans became hysterical and hundreds of thousands cried with emotion at the concerts. For many, the Kellys and their music were a source of hope, warmth and love. Anyone who has experienced the "Kelly Family" at the time will be disturbed today by reading the book by Patricia Kelly.

In " The Sound of My Life, " Patricia, now 44, openly talks about her journey to the gigantic stages, the constraints of fame. She does not miss out on diseases such as her breast cancer and painful spinal cord inflammation, nor private events such as her first meeting with her husband today. Mirca Waldhecker met Patricia Kelly for Wunderweib.de in a café in Hamburg and talked to her about her life and love.

"The Sound of My Life" by Patricia Kelly has been published by adeo Verlag. Photo: adeo Verlag

Mirca Waldhecker met Patricia Kella in Hamburg

Patricia Kelly has wonderfully warm hands. Her heartfelt nature is felt in the first second. "Hello, I'm Patricia!" A bright smile, an open and interested look from very blue eyes. She wears a high-necked blouse and a modern leather jacket in chic burgundy. Hardly any jewelery, only two golden rings on the left hand. Her face with rosy cheeks shines and she exudes that calmness, as do the people who are content with themselves and their lives. It is hard to imagine how much pain this woman has experienced.

All through the years Patricia Kelly and her siblings sang on stage around the world, she struggled with some crippling back pain. Once she lay on the floor until shortly before the performance, writhing in pain. And yet she appeared. For the sake of the fans. After the concerts, they sometimes surrounded the tour bus until Patricia and her siblings panicked inside.

Mirca Waldhecker for Wunderweib.de: Patricia, when I read your book, I had the feeling with each page that the fans made your life extremely difficult.

Patricia Kelly: No! Of course, I was very honest in the book, but I think every single fan really loved us. Nobody wanted to hurt us or hurt us. It is the mass that breaks out in this hysteria, as well as football fans. It was our decision to continue. We could have said, we'll stop now - and we did that at some point. Artists that have always been so well-known, that's part of the job at some point. We had to get used to it first and of course it was dramatic at the beginning. But I did not want to scare anyone off the book!

In the end, thank your fans expressly and write of love for them.

Patricia Kelly: It's been 20 years now ... I think it's very human to have all these feelings. At that time the hysteria was great. Sitting in a cafe like that was impossible. It was even dangerous. This restriction of freedom was extreme. For me personally - maybe others did not experience it that bad - but for me it was very difficult. I am very Irish, very freedom-loving. It should also not be forgotten that I had a great deal of responsibility at the time. Together with my father, later alone, I ran the business, negotiated contracts, which brought a lot of pressure. I felt like I needed to be able to control that better - but that's not controllable. It's just a wave and you can only make the best of it.

You have lost yourself bit by bit. You became very ill, you sometimes tied your backache to the bed for months. In the dark they lay in their cabin on the houseboat in Cologne. Many of her siblings also struggled with the negative effects of success.

Patricia Kelly: You have to remember that we artists plan ahead of time. I have already planned the whole next year. At that time we had planned two years in part, the tours were organized, there are contracts, employees, the presale is running, so you can not just cancel. We withdrew at some point, but we were only able to react two years later. I am still grateful for this time. I would never want to change my life. As it was, it was just right. I have experienced so much: the harshness of the street in the Paris Metro, where no one has stopped to listen to us - and then the huge success. That's so different, that's like Mars and Venus! This is of course an asset to my life. I have been able to learn so much about life at a young age, I do not want to miss that. Today I have probably found the right measure. I can live well from and with my art, I can do what I like. But I owe that partly to this great success, because the fans stay true to us and come to the concerts. It all depends.

How is it today, do you perform alone and then combine a reading evening with a concert?

Patricia Kelly: It's the first time I've read on stage! I was totally surprised when the fans told me that they wanted readings. It's a bit strange to just sit there and read something, but it's a lot of fun because after the readings I also sign the books, take pictures, I'm very close to the fans. Many tell me what has moved the book in them.

How did it happen that you wrote a book about your life?

Patricia Kelly: The desire to write down what I've experienced has been around for a long time. Actually, I only wanted to do it for my two sons. Something happened in November 2012 that really got me started. I was traveling with one of my siblings. On a country road we came to an accident. A car was on fire, inside a young couple. We pulled her out and the woman kept asking me in shock "Am I alive? Am I alive? "That really moved me. I thought, "See how fast that can go". I had already planned to spend a sabbatical year in 2013 and my husband said to me, "Patricia, if you do not do it now, you will never do it." I then wrote in English, all by hand, and mine Agent Thomas Lenz, who has been a friend of the family for a long time, has translated and proofread my lyrics.

In 2009, a precursor to breast cancer was discovered in your right breast. They had to undergo surgery twice, the second time the breast was removed and replaced with a prosthesis. How did you cope?

Patricia Kelly: In retrospect, I realized that the prosthesis was the right choice. After half a year I was back on my feet, a year later I ran a half marathon. It's fine and solid, everything's alright! I would do it again. It is a blessing that we young women have so many opportunities today. My mother did not have that. She also had breast cancer, also her right breast was removed. Nevertheless, she died of cancer in 1982. In the last 30 years has changed massively what you can do to prevent breast cancer. The chances of recovery have increased so much, over 90 percent. If you discover it soon enough. That's why prevention is so important!

They did not have any pain either.

Patricia Kelly: I had nothing, absolutely nothing. Only this feeling. Maybe it was my 40th birthday that made me think. An inner voice told me over and over again "Let yourself examine", until I then made a mammography appointment. I should have done that much earlier, I was unreasonable. I can only say this aloud so that other women learn from it. If it's in the family, ask your doctor in time, maybe from 30 to 35 years old. In the meantime, I regularly take precautionary measures and see so many young women without hair in practice - so check them out as early as possible!

You write that love helped you to persevere during this time. When you say love, do you mean the love of God or the love of family and friends?

Patricia Kelly: For me these are not two different things. I believe that God loves us through people. So I did not see God in front of me who said "Hey Patricia, I'm over there, hello!". Not that, I have no visions. But I saw my husband in front of me. I saw my sons, siblings and best friends in front of me. "We're here, Patricia, we're here, no matter what, we love you and you can do it!" That was the voice of God to me. I also went to Mass very often and spent many hours alone in the church. In this silence, in prayer, I feel an absolute peace in my heart.

What do you recommend for people who do not have the great luck of such a big family? Would you recommend them to go to church when they get sick?

Patricia Kelly: I'm not a counselor, but I think that every person has an inner voice to listen to. Silence and faith have always helped me, but I also know people who are not religious yet have a very good connection to themselves and a sense of what they and others need. Of course, if someone does not believe, good friends are important. If you have neither friends nor family, you should go to a self-help group. There people have the opportunity to share their suffering, which makes it less, and it also creates friendships. In any case, I would try to avoid isolation. I think we always need something or someone. We are not loners. Especially in such situations we need a hand. And there is a hand for each of us out there. This one good friend, a guardian angel. I'm optimistic.

What is that feeling that you can give people hope with your book?

Patricia Kelly: I do not know how I help people. I do not see myself as a great heroine. I'm just a little mom and artist too. But what I want is that I can give something good to people, maybe relief, small moments of the uplift, even with my music. I can not imagine my life without music. For my soul it is a way of expressing itself. It gives me strength.

What do you think, what you should have done in life?

Patricia Kelly: You really should have loved. That's number one for me. I'm not talking about romantic love. So when I'm lying on my deathbed and looking back on my life, I will not say "Show me my gold records again", but I will want to see the people I loved again.

When your father left in 2002, they all slept together around his deathbed. How is the contact today among the members of the "Kelly Family"?

Patricia Kelly: I'm very close to most siblings, and I would be lying if I said it all. We are twelve brothers and sisters and that is quite normal, that one understands oneself better with one or the other. Of course you sometimes argue too. But I talk to one of my siblings every day, they mean a lot to me. I love each and every one of them very much. And the older I get, the more I appreciate the gift of my parents, these brothers and sisters, with all their quirks and maces. And I hope you, me too.

They were about to go to the monastery when they were introduced to their present husband. They are now 13 years married and 15 years together. How do you manage to keep your love alive?

Patricia Kelly: If I had the recipe, I would tell everyone, the whole world, I wish everyone could be so happy! But I have no recipe and I think creating is not the word for me, I can not do it, I receive. I receive this love and take care of it carefully. I pay attention to it and - of course I am also tempted, each of us will - but it is important to preserve this little treasure, by all means. I can only thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, for this wonderful man - who annoys me sometimes.

Patricia laughs heartily. Certainly also in memory of the countless coupling attempts of her siblings, who at that time absolutely wanted to prevent Patricia from opting for a life as a nun. Her current husband Denis also impressed her by inviting her to dance in front of her father and siblings at a New Year's Eve celebration. In 2001 Patricia married her "Russian prince", who studied economics in Moscow. Today she lives with him and her two sons, Alexander and Ignatius, in North Rhine-Westphalia.

Ireland, Spain, America, Germany - Patricia, you have lived in so many countries, do you have the impression of being loved differently in other countries?

Patricia Kelly: Oh, that's a very interesting question, because you could write a book about it! No! I believe that love is universal. There are cultural differences. The Germans drink coffee without end and the Irish drink tea. The Spaniards get up much later than the Germans, before nine nothing happened. But in love, there is no difference. But there are cultures where, for example, less cuddles. The Germans are quite reserved. There are countries where people are more tender in public. Me and my husband are very fond of each other, even on the street, that does not bother us. So do not exaggerate, hug or kiss or something. But basically all people want to love and be loved and that's a good thing. If we were to solve the mystery, boy, boy ... only one, Thomas said recently. He said, "Patricia, you have done one thing, you have been waiting for the great love." My dad often repeated that: "Patricia, wait for the right one. Do not marry until you're totally crazy about the man. "One should not take this step to marry unless one is really heartfelt. That's the only thing I can recommend. And do not give up looking for love.

With so many siblings, was there enough parental love left in the family for each child?

Patricia Kelly: Of course my mom always had a kid in her arms, always. But the door to her bedroom was always open, she was there when I felt the need to get a peck. I never felt a deficit even though she really had many children. Of course she could not stay with me from morning to night. But is that what is good for a child? I do not know that. Probably not. I think if the child knows it can come there at any time, get a peck and then out into the big wide world again, and when it does, then it has a refuge with its mama again, I think that's important, It does not depend on the quantity, but the quality. My children are also quite independent, but they also know mom is there when they need me.

What does a perfect day look like today?

Patricia Kelly: Oh, the perfect day does not exist, but there are perfect moments! I do not expect a perfect life, that would be very superficial and not realistic. Life is a take and give and there are things that bring us joy and things that bring pain to us. When I expect a perfect life, I am always disappointed. If I know it's fifty-fifty and there's a period of suffering, then I go through it and try to think, "Sometime is over and you can have fun again". So, a perfect day, what would it look like? He would start making the boys scream in the morning "Mamaaa, where is my schoolbag?" "Maaama, Alexander took my towel away from me!" "No, he took my toothbrush!" ... That's exactly how he starts, then they go to School and come back and then ... Patricia pauses, smiles happily ... I say, nice days are of course on vacation, they are exceptionally beautiful. There is no stress, no job, cell phone out, emails away, then you are relaxed and can get involved in the beautiful things. But only for a certain period of time.

In your book you described how your father said you should not always see the glass half empty. Now you sound so optimistic!

Patricia Kelly: Maybe I changed a bit. I am already optimistic - but I am also very critical. Especially to me. For example my professional life. I am almost never satisfied with my work. There are moments on stage, there I fly. But I am always so that I want to do it even better. Sometimes I also think "Man Patricia, that's ok, enjoy it" - yes, I also have my quirks, but we are working on it.

What are your favorite songs from the time of the "Kelly Family"?

Patricia Kelly: Honestly, I would not like to sing the song "First Time" anymore. I can not hear it anymore, even though I composed it myself. But I do it - for the love of the audience. If I go to Bruce Springsteen, he probably does not want to sing "Born in the USA" any more. But I want to hear that, because I think "Yeeah!", Because there all the feelings come up from the time again. My fans feel the same way, and when I see how much fun they have to listen to the song, it makes me happy. What I still like is "I can not help myself". That could still be on the radio. This is a very good song, but there were a lot of good songs, I do not know, I'm surprised ... but in the videos, "First Time" is unbeatable.

Patricia Kelly regularly publishes concert dates and other exciting information on her Facebook page.

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