Photo: Stefanie Maertz, fotolia
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Even with over 40, there are plenty of ways to meet nice people. You just have to know where to find them. We tell you.
Friends used to be self-evident. They were just there. From school, education, or when we sat in the sandbox with our children. Nice to look back at an advanced age and realize that they are all still there.
But often enough, life has changed. Some have moved to another city for the job, others have been fixated on their children and partner for years, and some have worked so hard that they find themselves in well-earned retirement - and suddenly find that there are hardly any friends left.
"With age, the circle of close associates automatically smaller, " says the Hamburg psychologist Friedhelm Schwiderski (55). "It has to do with the fact that apart from family and work, we have less and less time with us
Can spend friends. At the same time, contacts often remain on the track - mostly unintentionally. "
Anyone who regrets this later should definitely jump over his shadow and call the old acquaintances and friends again. "Do not be afraid to take the first step, the likelihood of your former schoolmate enjoying a sign of life is quite high, because the first thing that connects them right away is the memories of living part together - even if you have not heard from each other for years. "
There are various forums and platforms on the Internet where you can find out where former classmates live today. But finding friends from the past is just the one thing. "We should always be open to people we do not know yet, " says Friedhelm Schwiderski. "Because our wishes and needs in relation to friendships are changing.
It is becoming increasingly important that we have people around us that feel and think like us. At best, even in a similar phase of life. "
To give one example: A single mother can sometimes communicate better with a woman in a similar situation than with her old school friend, whom she has known for ages, but who has been happily married for 15 years.
"With new friends, we often start from scratch, " says the psychologist. "Because there is no common past and therefore no drawer in which we have been since the seventh grade." New friends offer us the opportunity to show ourselves as we are today - without forever falling into old role patterns. This is an opportunity we should definitely use for our own development.
But how and where do you find them?
"The inhibition to approach each other is getting bigger, " says the psychologist. "It is easier if we look for new contacts there, where we do something together." For example, at the Italian course or while painting. "There, you get to know each other without obligation and realize whether the new acquaintance could be a potential friend."
Anyone who struggles with personal contact can also use the Friendship Exchanges on the Internet.
"Registering online without obligation is often easier for many people, " says Friedhelm Schwiderski, referring to Alwine Bies (61) from Losheim (Saarland). For five years the pensioner has been active in the forum www.wieder alone.net, which connects people from all over Germany. "After the death of my husband, I was often lonely and because I did not want to sit alone in front of the TV every night, I just signed up, it was free." At the same time, she did not know computers at all.
"But after a few tutorials with my youngest son, I was able to quickly post messages to others on the forum, which was fun." Soon she went to a regular's table in the neighboring town, which the Forum regularly organizes.
"It's a super round of interesting people, " says Alwine, who now regularly goes hiking or dancing with new friends. "No one has to be alone if he does not want it." She is sure of that. And if you are lucky, you will not only meet new friends, but also a new love - just like Alwine ...
