Recommended, 2022

Editor'S Choice

More confidence: I believe in myself!

Those who trust themselves are their own rock to lean on and know what (or who!) Makes them happy.
Photo: iStock
  1. The basis of a great charisma? Confidence!
  2. The inner compass
  3. What we think
  4. Do something instead of grilling
  5. The placebo effect
  6. of attitude

The basis of a great charisma? Confidence!

How self-esteem develops, what stands in the way of good charisma and why it is worthwhile to learn self-confidence. Here comes everything about the art of trusting oneself and making the right decisions.

Self-confidence is like an invisible magnet : you can not see it, but it is incredibly appealing to others. It hides in small gestures, a relaxed smile, a charming saying. Unlike self-esteem, which likes to be in the limelight, self-confidence rests quite casually within ourselves. It strengthens in us the good feeling of liking ourselves - with all the small weaknesses. It lets us recognize our own talents, aiming for realistic goals. And be nice to us.

The inner compass

If we trust ourselves and know what we can do, we do not have to put on a loud mask and show everyone how great we are. Of course we are happy about a compliment - but we do not long for confirmation. Because our self-confidence is like a compass that we can always rely on. He helps us to make the right decisions and to find our own way. Actually, we do not need a nice shop assistant to decide which jeans are best for us. Or a darling "Go to bed earlier!" from our sweetheart, to know when we have to go to bed. After all, nobody knows us as well as we do.

What shapes us

"Self-confidence is an inner attitude, " says Dirk Schmidt, motivational coach and author of the book "If You Were Knowing What You Can Do" . And consists of: self-knowledge, faith and serenity. How much we have depends on various factors.

The basis for our self-confidence is laid in childhood. Anyone who had a loving relationship with his parents and received a lot of affirmation from them, dares later as an adult more. Also important for our self-confidence: friends . Because they make us feel accepted, just as we are. And they are a healthy competition for us. Friends can motivate us to do something, instead of thinking about it forever. For example, to change a job that drained us . Or to spend three weeks surfing in Australia alone.

Do not brood

But what can we do ourselves to strengthen our self-confidence or rebuild it when things are not going so well? After all, everyone knows these days when our inner compass spins a bit. And we doubt a task. And us. The expert: "Ruminating is usually an indication that we do not really want something." If we do not really feel like running a half marathon right from the beginning, then suddenly every weather is too bad for us to train. Or we suddenly find that our super running shoes are not optimal. Or, or, or ... The consequence of this all-too-bad-badger: We approach the cause half-heartedly and fail. And weaken thereby our confidence in ourselves. It would be better to hear in such cases on our gut feeling and to say no in advance.

Because the other way around: if we are really convinced of something, we also find a way to create what we have set ourselves. And: "Our self-confidence is strengthened by the sum of the tasks we have mastered, " says Schmidt. "These do not have to be huge challenges, everyday trifles count as well." Because with every mini-success experience, our self-confidence grows .

The placebo effect

With the sentence "I believe in myself!" But we can also program ourselves. In that case, our faith can move mountains - or at least make us feel. Because if we think positively, there is a kind of placebo effect in our brain. Normally, it works like this: By believing in the effects of a drug, analgesic hormones are released in the body and you feel better. It also happens when we look for a positive mantra. Then our radiation automatically changes and our fellow human beings perceive us differently. They are more likely to be with us and have more respect for us. And our project works much more likely.

of attitude

Of course, everything does not always go according to plan. But we can decide how to handle the hurdles. Because to go one's own way also means to change the direction now and then. To admit to oneself that one might not want to live in a house in the countryside - and would rather be in a small townhouse again. Or that a yoga is not a lot of fun - you talked that only because the best friend and the rest of the world rave about it.

Then we can confidently listen again to our inner compass - and it just points to the couch.