I regret having become a mother. "#RegrettingMotherhood.

2015

#RegrettingMotherhood. "I regret being a mother."
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A taboo is broken.

A woman becomes a mother. But soon she realizes that this is not for her. That she can not and will not handle the loss of self-determination and freedom, the changes in the body, the lack of sleep and the pressure of responsibility.

Unhappy mothers are a taboo. Time to change this.

Especially socially, the open regret about the decision to have a child until now was unthinkable. This changed abruptly since the online edition of Süddeutsche published an article with open confessions, including a corresponding study. One respondent at the age of 38 says in the report: "Look, it's complicated to explain, I regret being a mother, but I do not regret my children, I love them, I regret having children but I love the children that I got, I do not want them to be here, I just do not want to be a mother. "

"I did not realize what it really means to be a mother"

Since then, the hashtag #regrettingmotherhood has caused a stir on the internet. As if one had only been looking for a valve, mothers, among them well-known mommy bloggers, suddenly express themselves to a topic that seems to have been waiting for its abatement. "The concept of motherhood itself is not mine, I realize after almost seven years. I am someone who needs being alone like the air to breathe. I hate to feel unfree or even to be unfree, to have to give an account, to slavishly stick to appointments. I'm not very well organized, a total night owl, and my mood sometimes fluctuates like that of a teenage teenager. I'm by nature more lazy than hardworking unless I'm excited about something. "Anette writes of the blog Herzgespinst. In the process, the feminist explosive power has hardly been noticed, which is behind the sentences and reports of the women involved. Because in all discussions about equal pay and daily discrimination, even an Alice Schwarzer has not yet said what you could do if you got a child and then no longer want to be a mother. So it's high time to talk about the feeling of miserable motherhood!

Accept opposing feelings and integrate them into everyday life

But where do these feelings come from, to the point of repenting motherhood? For many women, the disadvantages of having children with all worries are very heavy: responsibility, the emotional focus on family and relationships, conflicts between family life, work and personal needs. Sociologist Christina Mundlos says: "A mother does not talk about her exhaustion, which is socially undesirable." According to psychologist Brigitte Ramsauer, such ambivalent feelings in mothers are perfectly normal, they must be there and must be lived, as well as the positive feelings Ultimately, it's all about how to deal with you. "It's about the ability to recognize, tolerate, and integrate these opposing feelings in themselves and in their own lives. This is the maturing process. Motherhood ambivalence is normal, "she says.

Conclusion: Just because one does not feel well as a mother with his role, is overwhelmed or wants his old life back does not mean that you do not love his children and this does not want. It's just time to clear out, redefine, and redistribute the sanctuary of motherhood in society. On man, on woman, on all.