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What you should have experienced with your friend before you contract
Our first shared apartment - if a loving couple wants to contract, the first infatuation should be over and the following points clarified.
" Our first shared apartment !" Sophie beams at me as if her sky were full of glittering violins. But no. It's just that: She and her boyfriend Jan decided to pack up their lives and start looking for their happiness in the same four walls. They want to contract - AFTER TWO MONTHS!
Yes, seriously! I feel a bit premature. After two months lovers are finally still completely in the happiness hormone intoxication. So I asked the relationship expert Eric Hegmann what a couple should have experienced together before signing the contract for the shared apartment .
When should you contract?
Tips from relationship expert and parship coach Eric Hegmann
1. Not too early!
How long a couple waits best is of course individual. But the first phase of falling in love should be awaited. Because as long as we are euphoric and really want to spend every second with each other and best in bed, we are blind to conflict potential. Statistically, the "pink-cloud phase" lasts six months.
2. Move to a new apartment
Even if one of the partners owns property (especially then!): Prevent territorial behavior and take a new apartment, which you set up together. About the question, "And where should I put my things?" Many relationships are broken.
Alright, wait at least six months and look for a brand new apartment, I'll recommend that to Sophie. In addition, I'll give her this little to-do list on the way. Because one thing I can really confirm: the first joint visit to IKEA you should have behind you, before you pull together. Even a lot of love happiness is broken between Shabby Chic shelf and candle corner.
Checklist: You should do that before contracting
1st visit to a flea market
You will learn how your partner deals with money and if he can act. You'll also learn about its interior design taste.
2nd visit to a furniture store - on Saturday!
Little joy, but a first stress test is the visit of a large furniture store. Because you really want to know: on a Saturday. If you come out alive, it's good for your relationship!
3. A longer holiday together
The love of everyday life is one side, three weeks in a row in a small space a very different. Expect to collide. This is human and should be so that you can resolve your initial conflicts and move your relationship to a new, more stable level.
4. Visit several viewing appointments
Roof terrace? Balcony ? And how do we actually want to pay for this dream home? Welcome to the stage between desire and truth. Test in advance what your partner needs. Then the right apartment search becomes so much more enjoyable.
5. Create a budget
Who pays what? Half half? Or gives one more, because he has more available? Does it need an extra account for the common expenses? Now it gets really serious. You're bound to face a few disputes, but once you've mastered this test, not much can happen to you.
6. Engage a cleaning aid - or create a home work plan
If you can afford it: invest in a cleaning aid. About housework relationships break statistically almost as often as about infidelity, because the daily ministration zerfrisst the love.
Dear lovers, we hope we have not scared you now. After all, living together with your loved one is a wonderful thing if you have all the trouble spots under control. Falling asleep together, cuddling up in the morning, delicately putting your feet together at breakfast - all this is priceless and, for most people, very important for a fulfilling life. Therefore: Dare to calm down, so many couples have successfully mastered this challenge, then we will certainly do it.
