Recommended, 2023

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Bernd the bread gives a funny interview

Bernd the bread
Photo: © KI.KA / Bernd Lammel

Grumpy answers

"The New Leaf" / Lara Kurrer: They refused to meet us in person. Do you always have such star attitudes?

Bernd the Bread: Star Attitudes - Do you start every interview with an insult? And would you let strangers into your apartment?

They are quite a mystery about their age. Hand on heart: how old are you really?

Bernd the Bread: too old for this questioning. That's too personal for me.

They are often sad, downright depressive. Why?

Bernd the Bread: Depressed ? They exaggerate. But how would you feel if you were living with a mad sheep and a crazy bush that are loud and constantly bringing havoc to your life? Damn.

Did you ever want to kill yourself?

Bernd the Bread: Do you want to hear now that I put myself under a bread slicer or plunged into a toaster? NEVER S. You exaggerate, excessive.

What or who can you be happy about?

Bernd das Brot: About my Testbildsammlung, a DVD with the most boring railways in Germany and a glass of flour soup with Schirmchen and a touch of ginger. Not to mention the south wall in my room. Pleasantly monotonous and boring. Hm. Nice.

What does love do? Is there a roll / tartlet etc. in your life?

Bernd the Bread: And now you want to hear the story of a baguette from Paris ? That's too private for me. Next question.

Do you eat bread? Which one?

Bernd the Bread: Congratulations. They took seven questions to their first joke.

Why do not you mold?

Bernd the bread: Hurray. Five euros for the Brotwitzkasse.

Are you a believer?

Bernd the Bread: I believe in fate. And that has one on the waffle. Damn.

How do you keep up with hygiene? You can not shower, then you will be soft and die!

Bernd the Bread: And how often do you wash yourself? The only thing that makes me "soft" is your unbelievable questions.

They were abducted in January 2009. The perpetrators caught you for days. What memories do you have of this time?

Bernd the Bread: They have stolen a monument that has a certain resemblance to me. That it was suddenly gone was bad. Because as long as this thing is there, they at least photograph that and leave me alone.

How were you treated? Have you been tormented with the toaster and almost starved to death with water and bread?

Bernd the Bread: You forgot the pack of hungry ducks that have been rushed at me, and the day care center, which has painted my gray south wall colorfully with finger paints. - You exaggerate again. Excessive. Which article do you write again? "The best bread-disasters of all time" ?

Do you have a secret passion? Are you, for example, a fan of Florian Silbereisen and his folk music?

Bernd the Bread: Blues. I like blues. He is so pleasantly calm.

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