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- How we all deal properly with the fear of terror and attacks
- Mr. Juchniewicz, how can and should adults react to their own fear?
- Children often get more than we think. How can (and should?) Prevent or mitigate their fear?
- What is the best way to meet the fears of other adults?
- Should I go to the Christmas market? Can / may I cancel an invitation to a concert?
- What helps against such fears of attacks What is it that fuels them?
- The company Christmas party is supposed to take place at the Christmas market (or another major event in the public space comes to the college), how do you talk Kollegenoffiziell with colleagues about his fear?
- What happens if I panic or something happens? How do I calm down in a specific panic situation?
How we all deal properly with the fear of terror and attacks
We live in disturbing times. But how can we allow ourselves to be controlled by fear? A fear coach gives tips on how to deal with fear properly.
At least since Paris, the fear of terror has taken even more people than it already has. Everyone says we should not let ourselves be ruled by this, continue as before, go out, celebrate - otherwise "the" would have won.
That's easy to say. But the fear does not go away.
Bernhard Juchniewicz is president of the ECA (European Coaching Association), where he also works as a coach. Since 1976, the graduated pedagogue and diploma social worker advises people in particularly stressful life situations. With us he talked about fear and how we deal with it properly.
Bernhard Juchniewicz himself has already been cured of fear of flying. He notes, "Fears and fears must be distinguished, and fears could be called 'healthy fears.'" Societies have always been threatened, whether by wars, epidemics, or natural disasters. "We seek maximum control over the things that affect us Let's take our fears for what they are: a counselor who warns us, but do not let them dominate you.
That is also what we should do to our children. Parents should not "protect" their children too much and protect them from everyday life. In order to develop according to age, they need an unconscious competence in dealing with fear-inducing situations. Parents need to convey a healthy basic trust, a 'trust in God' that enables the healthy person to make the right decision in his life - at any moment - and to go through life protected. "
Mr. Juchniewicz, how can and should adults react to their own fear?
"Fear keeps us alert - feelings like stage fright often inspire sense-specific 'wakefulness and self-responsibility' in everyday life challenges, but fear that goes beyond a natural and reasonable level complains about people's daily lives, leaves us frozen and can even prevent your career and happiness and affect your health At the latest when you realize that anxiety prevents you from living your daily life, you should seek professional help.
Check-up: Do a simple exercise if you find yourself feeling blocked by fear. Sit in a comfortable armchair and relax for five minutes. Close your eyes. Breathe in and out. Thoughts are unimportant now. Make sure that you feel comfortable in your thoughts. If you succeed, congratulations. If you do not succeed, you may be in a fixation.
Then you can ask yourself what you are fixated on with thoughts, feelings and ideas and think about whether you have been burdened for some time. If you answer 'yes' to the latter question, this may be an indication that the problem should be discussed with an expert. Even the expression of your fears can bring relief. "
Children often get more than we think. How can (and should?) Prevent or mitigate their fear?
"In fact, because of the many media offerings, children see a lot of things that scare them - but also us - we reduce fear by taking both our and their fears seriously and talking about it - consoling - both physically (in the arm take away) as well as emotionally, for example, with distraction or with each other to meet the fear, for example, go together in the 'dark forest' or in a shopping center with many people.
It is best to give them a healthy behavior. Because parents accompany their children in situations they are anxious to react to, until their child learns how to deal with the scary situation according to their age, how to react and how to handle it confidently. Encourage your children to make them feel they can make a difference and not passively face any threats.
Silence is counterproductive. Some people, however, tend to keep their frightening situations to themselves and do not initiate anyone into their fears. They feel their fears as a personal weakness, especially at work. They do not do either themselves or their environment a favor. Especially children have a fine sense of when something is wrong. By leaving them in ignorance of what weighs on them, they are given the opportunity to learn how to handle them. One should disappoint the fear, but not pay homage to it.
You can calm anxious children eg with a mobile phone with emergency call function. They learn healthy self-confidence in sports (eg judo or self-defense), yoga is now also available for children and helps them to stay relaxed or become. "
(You can find more tips here: How do I talk to my child about terrorism?)
What is the best way to meet the fears of other adults?
(Example: a friend says an appointment for fear)
"Accept your reaction and do not react in a huff because your plans are being thrown overboard.
Fear and uncertainty are normal responses in the face of this threat. But the fear should not prevail. That's why I have to try to endure the fear and live my life. That means: I should not avoid places or activities out of fear. Of course you should take cues or warnings of the police seriously, but when our normal life comes to a standstill, and we no longer get rid of the 'shock', then the terrorists have reached their goal. They want to unsettle us and plunge us into chaos, we should not allow that in any case.
Even if you respect the fear of your friend, talk to her about it and ask her in what matters her anxiety still restricts her. In the best case, you succeed in relativizing the irrational fears of the girlfriend in relation to your joint appointment. Through communication and interaction, it is possible to relive previously perceived as threatening or frightening situations by changing perspectives and to activate resources that help people to live their lives in a sovereign manner.
Human coexistence and reconnoitring in times of crisis can give people access to their true abilities, mental health, regeneration, core health, vitality, work & life satisfaction, motivation, humor, zest for life, self-confidence, and sovereignty. "
Should I go to the Christmas market? Can / may I cancel an invitation to a concert?
"In principle, everyone has to decide for themselves, the security measures in the Christmas markets have been strengthened, and who as a healthy adult considers the problem must admit that the probability of dying in the streets is probably higher in Germany than falling victim to a terrorist attack Nevertheless, nobody would leave his car behind.
However, people who are responsible for relatives, family or those in need may come to the conclusion that they do not want to expose themselves to additional risk. That too has to be respected.
If you want to avoid mass events at first, but you do not want to be limited by the threats in your quality of life, visit eg smaller regional concerts or Christmas markets on less frequented days.
It is important that one actively encounters his fear and does not allow himself to be paralyzed. Those who gradually come to terms with their fears can overcome their fears and, in principle, have more of their lives: Dangers lurk everywhere - and when you start to avoid everything, you soon have no life left. As the saying goes, let's be honest - life is life threatening. "
What helps against such fears of attacks - what fuels them?
"The media's involvement with terror makes it difficult, almost impossible, to objectively identify one's own dangerous situation, and fears are fueled in principle if one deals with them permanently, exposing oneself openly to the terrible scenarios that transport them. It's also not wise, and those who simply view fears as part of their lives have the best chance of relativizing and overcoming them.
Focusing on positive goals and content and our experience help us do that. Turn off the media more often and make your own experiences: meditation, sports and a good social life help you to relax and experience self-efficacy.
My recommendation is best expressed in a quote from Mahatma Gandhi: 'Be yourself the change that you desire for this world'. Go among people, be active, send out positive signals, smile and send out friendliness. They will get the same back and notice how solidarity is growing and their fears are diminishing to the same degree. Just as terror negatively affects us, each of us can do our part to ease the fear among us. "
The company Christmas party is supposed to take place at the Christmas market (or another major event in public space is coming up to the college), how do you "officially" talk about your fear with colleagues?
"It's not new to talk about a terrorist threat at Christmas markets, and there have been increased security measures in previous years as well, avoiding political discussions and discussing the terrorist threat with their peers in the run up to and including the celebration Fear and spoil the evening in case of doubt.
At a company party is usually expected, that one is there and shows collegial. However, you should refrain from participating if you are not sure you can control your fears during the celebration. Then it can be really useful to seek professional help. The very fact that I'm scared is completely normal and part of life. Because life is full of risks and dangers, that's the reality - but no reason not to live your life anymore. "
What happens if I panic or something happens? How do I calm down in a specific panic situation?
"Emergency plan: move away from the location and move without panic-escalating Movement reduces the stress cortisol level Concentrate on the breathing and signal the accompaniment that you need support Then leave the event you should keep calm and immediately - if possible - to get away or to police and security forces (announcements) hold.
Those who stress themselves and others increase their cortisol levels and this in turn generates even more stress and more cortisol for themselves and others. By contrast, an old actor's trick helps: smile inside and pretend that everything is fine. It also signals your own body and psyche, everything will be fine! And that then transfers to others again ....
Anyone who is afraid of a situation like this can rehearse the emergency, with role-playing games. Then you are in a serious case 'routine' and the body unwinds his program. This can also be practiced in short coaching sessions: for example, focus on breathing and look at yourself from the outside like in the cinema. The distance always helps you. Also the observation of fear as an interesting emotion helps not to make oneself victim: one is not the feeling, one thinks it. An anchor also helps: to associate a body part with a certain sensation of courage or an object with a motto. "
