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Being alone - power source for the soul

Graduate Psychologist Ursula Wagner (48)
Photo: © Ursula Wagner - www.ursulawagner.com

time for me

Take a deep breath. Forget the daily life. Nobody met - except themselves. 35 percent of Germans would like to have more time for themselves. According to the Gesellschaft für Konsumforschung (GfK), even 55 percent of families would like to have more leisure time in their families. Being alone is a real source of power - if you use it properly.

Dense scramble in the S-Bahn. It is loud and hot. A cellphone rings, someone bumps into us - and then those smells! Now we just want one more thing: put your feet up, take a deep breath, silence - just be alone.

Intuitively, we know what's good for us. This is also confirmed by graduate psychologist Ursula Wagner (48). She is convinced that time spent alone is the key to maintaining her stable emotional and physical condition. It helps to clear the mind and to recharge mental energy for daily needs. And: Only then have creativity and intuition the necessary scope for free development.

But be careful: Being alone does not mean to calm down right away. Although we spend more and more time professionally and privately without other people - for example, on the computer, in front of the TV or in the gym . But that does not mean that we find ourselves by it. How we manage to treat ourselves to meaningful and relaxing times without distraction, explains the expert.

Ms. Wagner, silence seminars in the monastery, holidays alone - more and more women yearn for retreat. Where does this trend come from?

The modern communication society makes us accessible around the clock for others, available, available. Many people feel overwhelmed with time, are determined by others and feel the need for a counterpart. A first step would be z. For example, just show the phone.

But we need reliable social relationships to feel secure and loved.

Man is a social being, right. In order for him to fully develop his personality, however, he needs regular hours only with himself. Because only in silence and uncensored from the rest of the world can we perceive what is important to us. These own values ​​are our compass for life - which we should follow.

Many have the problem of not being alone. You feel uncomfortable.

Yes - being alone is often equated with loneliness. You can be alone without feeling lonely. And you can be very lonely among many people or even with the partner. Being alone is a condition, loneliness a feeling. And strange as it sounds: whoever flees from being alone, often becomes lonely. The loneliest people who came to my practice were not necessarily loners. It was rather those who were constantly on the move and after ever new stimuli, so distraction, almost addicted.

What are the causes?

Uncertainties about one's own value as a person or deep fear of loss are often reasons. If in the past, for some reason, the feeling of security was lost and we felt abandoned, being alone could be unpleasant or even frightening. Nobody wants something from us, no task waits - for many it's hard to bear. Because: If the distraction from the outside is missing, we perceive the inner world, and that can then seem drab. Fortunately, being alone can be learned well.

Can you spend too much time with yourself?

Ultimately, the individual need determines the duration and nature of that time. But there may actually be a tendency to self-loathing that does not do you any good. Anyone who has the impression of becoming "one's own" or who is being told should cultivate the other pole, ie the community, more consciously. This means adapting to others in some areas, making compromises. But many activities are more fun in exchange. And after that, being alone is even more pleasant!

Being alone can also be enjoyed in a luxurious atmosphere. An excursion with a luxury yacht offers a pleasant way to disconnect from everyday life and enjoy the tranquility of the sea.

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