Recommended, 2021

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7 things you should NEVER expect from others

"Demand much of yourself and expect little from others. So you'll be spared much trouble. "Confucius (Chinese philosopher)
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You can confidently save these expectations

Even Benjamin Franklin - one of the founding fathers of America - knew: "Nothing hurts so much as failed expectations."

But to this day we are constantly expecting something from our fellow human beings - and are often disappointed. We expect our children to clean up their room by themselves and that our partner is always there for us. We expect our boss to honor our achievement with money and our friends always understand us.

Somewhere there is always an expectation in us, which remains far too often unfulfilled. This frustrates, hurts, disappoints us - we are simply dissatisfied with the overall situation, as the saying goes.

But that need not be! To build up an expectation, we can get used to it. Basically, there are only 7 basic situations in which we put expectations :

1. DO NOT EXPECT everyone to take their stand!

Everyone deserves to lead a life that pleases them. So you should never judge your life in the opinion of others. You are not born to meet the expectations of others - any more than other people are there to meet your expectations. The more you are convinced of your own point of view, your own way of life, the less you will need the confirmation of others. Follow your own intuition, go your own way, no matter how crazy it feels (or even really is). Do not let others discourage you because they do not share your opinion or in a different way than you achieve their goals. Stick to your point of view - but do not expect to change the opinions of others.

2. DO NOT EXPECT others to respect you more than they respect themselves!

True greatness comes from the inside, as the saying goes. Meaning: Believe in yourself, trust yourself. Do not expect from others that love, attention and respect that only you can give yourself. Of course you should treat others with respect - but it is more important to be respectful to yourself, to be nice to yourself. So you will be happier (and radiate it as well). You will notice that your fellow human beings will either a) do it to you or b) get out of your life. The fact is: Both options will ensure that you are well!

3. DO NOT EXPECT to be liked by others!

There is probably no one in the world that everyone likes. Everyone knows at least one person who just does not do it - may someone still be so nice. But neither is there a person who is not liked, if not loved, by at least one other. Not being liked by someone is therefore no reason to feel less valuable. Spend a lot of time with the people you like, instead of thinking about those you do not like, possibly criticizing you. The motto is: smile, ignore, move on. It may seem difficult in a world teeming with mainstream and anyone who falls outside the given scheme F, is quickly ridiculed or criticized. Do not let that unsettle you and do not even try to put your individuality on the cross. These features, which differentiate you from others and may even cause you to offend some people, are just those features that make you so adorable to others!

4. DO NOT EXPECT others to adapt to you!

To love and respect someone is to allow them to be themselves. Only when one stops wanting to change the other, one learns to appreciate him as he is. Respect people for being who they are - not for what you want them to be. Everyone is unique, has their own quirks and idiosyncrasies - but that's what makes him extraordinary and remarkable. Take the time to get to know someone better. The better you know someone, the better you can look behind his facade and understand him (and his idiosyncrasies).

5. DO NOT EXPECT others to read your mind!

People can not read thoughts - basta! No one but you knows what's going on in your head (or heart) if you do not say it out loud. Your partner does not know that his last comment hurt you and your boss does not know you're interested in a new challenge if you do not reveal your thoughts. As simple as it may sound - it is as simple as that: Life in a society is about (regular) communication. If necessary, take the first step calmly, be it someone who speaks or speaks first. You will be surprised at how much positive response you will get.

6. DO NOT EXPECT someone to change!

In 99 percent of the cases, you can not change another person - and you should not even try! And what if a peculiarity bothers you so much that you can not stand it anymore? The solution is simple: Either you learn to live with someone else's quirks, or you live without that person. It sounds harder than it sounds. Because it applies: people only change themselves out of themselves. If you encourage someone to be who he is, he will change for the better in his own way - but not as YOU wish, but just as each person changes over time. The only thing you can change yourself to someone else is your own picture of him.

7. DO NOT EXPECT that others are always well!

All people have similar dreams and needs, face similar conflicts and problems in life. As satisfied as other people may seem to you, they live the same life as you. They are struggling with the same everyday problems as you. And other people in life have already made bad experiences.

The difference between the happy-looking person and you may be just that he copes better with his needs and insecurities. Just because someone is smiling does not mean that he is well, let alone better than you. These people, whom we admire for their satisfaction, do not manage to have no problems - they may just solve them differently, or hide them behind a friendly smile and a clever demeanor, instead of exposing their malaise to the outside world.

How can you do it, you ask yourself? By focusing - like these people - on the good. Offer your support to other people and accept them with thanks. If you realize this, you will not respond to the phrase "How are you?" With the phrase "Good." But perhaps also with "Not so good at the moment because ...". The likelihood of your counterpart feeling or feeling the same is higher than you think.

And always remember what Oscar winner and screenwriter Mel Brooks said:

"Hope the best, expect the worst. Life is a play and we did not rehearse all of them. "